Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
