Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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