Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
