She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you mean i was at the winter classic?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
