What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
