I'm drive I can fine osifer
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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