I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
True strength comes from lack of pants
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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