She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
