Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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