I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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