So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
