ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
