Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
