Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
