He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
