woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
