i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
