i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm both gender and math confused
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
