it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this boner is exhausting
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
