That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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