sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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