i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
