Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
