If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
