i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
