All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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