The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize