Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
