Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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