Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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