ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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