So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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