...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
