I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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