this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
