as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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