these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
