It's Friday. Sex?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
