I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize