Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
