i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
