You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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