i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I feel like abortions should bother me more
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
