It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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