I want you more than these girls want KFC
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
