my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
