i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
