Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
