it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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