great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
