Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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